In the last week of February, I walked into a hornet’s nest, figuratively speaking. I was having a conversation with a friend and made a comment about getting together for coffee after she returned from a business trip. She then proceeded to bring up an issue she had with a habit of mine.
I listened to what she had to say. I was actually horrified that my behaviour, something I perceived as playful but others seemed to interpret as harmful, had hurt my friend’s feelings. I apologized. It was a no-holds barred sincere apology because I value this friendship and did what I thought was necessary to maintain it.
My friend’s reaction wasn’t what I expected. Her response was, “Thanks for saying that.” That was it. While the conversation ended on a positive note, there was no indication that I had been forgiven, or that she intended putting my gaffe behind us.
I was brought up to tell someone they are forgiven (It’s all right; I understand; No harm done). I realize that we are all not brought up in the same fashion. I also realize that forgiveness is a process and each person has their own way of dealing with it. But it’s been several weeks now since the incident occurred.
Still, I can’t help but feel a little let down, in limbo, and that the quality of my life will be somewhat diminished if she becomes no longer a part of it.