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Success

Vancouver East Side

Back lane Vancouver East Side

In the past, I’ve viewed success as a simple formula: figure out what it is I want to achieve; set a goal; make a list of the things needed to accomplish the goal; prioritize; work my way through the list. Success is completing the tasks at hand to reach the desired outcome.

Lately, I discovered that achieving success (no matter how we define it) is not a linear process. There are too many variables; changes of mood; forks in the road. I try to stay positive. Keep focussed on writing for clients, writing for me, attracting more clients, looking for work. I inch forward, generally moving in the right direction, yet progress is negligible.  Success is a ghost; I think I see something floating in the near distance, but I’m not exactly sure what it is.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed a lot. The anniversary of my dad’s passing at the end of October and Christmas looming on the horizon aren’t helping. My mental health is not so healthy. I’m Old Rose (character in Titanic): “It was the ship of dreams to everyone else. To me it was a slave ship, taking me back to America in chains. Outwardly, I was everything a well brought up girl should be. Inside, I was screaming.” I don’t mind asking for help, but I don’t exactly know how to do this without giving myself away.

These days though, I’m satisfied if I get through my compulsory to-do-list of five priority items. My definition of success is a horse with blinkers – I get through the day by looking straight ahead.

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