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How the Internet Cured Heartburn

I spent the afternoon working on a freelance assignment, which made me totally forget that I hadn’t eaten anything since a modest bowl of cereal and some yogurt with fruit  for breakfast. After a lunch of grilled cheese sandwich and canned tomato soup at a time when most senior citizens are thinking about having their dinner, I paid the price about an hour and half  later. Sitting at the computer attempting to catch up on my job search, the heartburn was causing me such discomfort that I couldn’t sit still enough to concentrate.

I squirmed around in my chair for awhile, trying to ignore it. I tried some mild stretches; slowly sipping a glass of water; drinking a glass of milk. I even tried breathing exercises, based on the theory that most functions or processes associated with the body are greatly improved by an influx of oxygen. No such luck.

I don’t generally search the internet for health advice, but when the two reference books I usually use didn’t yield anything useful, I did an internet search on heartburn remedies. I came upon a forum thread that included several home remedies for heartburn, including dissolving a teaspoon of baking soda (which I didn’t have) in a glass of water and ingesting 1 to 2 teaspoons of yellow mustard (which I did have).

I went into the kitchen, grabbed a teaspoon and rescued the bottle of yellow mustard from inside the fridge door. After squirting mustard onto the spoon, it occurred to me that I had never eaten this particular condiment by itself – mayonnaise, ketchup, and relish – yes, yes and yes, but never yellow mustard.  To say I became very skeptical would be an understatement. What the heck…down the hatch it went.

By the time I had washed the spoon, put away the mustard bottle and returned to the computer, the heartburn had vanished. Who knew yellow mustard could provide such effective heartburn relief? I’m a believer now!


One comment on “How the Internet Cured Heartburn

  1. I hate getting heartburn.

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